***The following statement shall be read in a British accent.***
(Bangs gavel several times)
Ladies and gentleman, can I have some decorum, please?
As you can see, Best In The (Smoker’s) World in Sycamore has been the #1 choice for residents of Dekalb and Sycamore for over 12 years now. That is because of you, the customers out there. There is no doubt in my mind that this place has everything you need for your smoking habits. I cannot believe how much better the Marlboro’s taste from Best In The (Smoker’s) World than the ones they sell in my native, Preston, England. They also have electronic cigarettes, detox products and products for roll your own such as tobacco, tubes, machines and cases. Don’t forget that they have import cigars now in stock. The man who owns this store is a class act.
But for you, the competition out there:
Well, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news.
You competing stores out there say you match all prices but in reality, you are all just desperate and scared . You all know that you cannot keep up with Best In The (Smoker’s) World because they have always had the best prices in the area. Well, I am here to say that is a FACT. Customers, you will pay more money somewhere else if you don’t come here. Your wallet will never forgive you. So go see this young man and let him know you want to save money and not pay double for something like roll your own at those other places!
Thank you everyone! Thank you! (Bangs gavel several times)