Your Black Friday Weekend starts right here! (November 26th-28th)

Saturday

10:00 A.M. – 6:00 P.M.

We aren’t like other stores you see that have Black Friday Deals going a month or two. That ruins the significance of a sale. Three days is what you get with us and it’s the best three days of the year. And that raffle we did back in October? It’s back! Our “12 Days of Highness” starts as well Black Friday Weekend where you can win free products. We will do drawings leading up to Christmas Day. We are closed Thanksgiving. Click on the ad in this post for details. We will see you Friday, November 26th!

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We’ll be closed on Thanksgiving to let the turkeys get high.

Don’t worry. We’ll back Friday with normal business hours of 9:00 A.M. to 7:00 P.M. Look below for Black Friday Weekend Sale details.

What I’m Thankful For: Mr. Competitor Down The Street and his new “business partner”

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. And with all that has transpired over the last 18 months, we have to find something that makes us thankful and happy.

As the owner of this store, I am thankful for my local competition. In particular, it is The Village Idiot Down The Street and his new “business partner.” Most of you know who I’m talking about because  you use to shop there. This guy is just an absolute treat. He is the gift that keeps on giving. Many years ago at the old store, he came in for the first time all butt hurt because my prices were much lower than his. As some of you may have seen, I posted the video on the website back then. It was an Oscar-worthy performance by him.

Long story short, he vowed to compete against me despite us being in two different businesses. He was trying to get into the tobacco business while I was reigning supreme in the entertainment business. I reminded him that if he makes it personal, I will happily open up a store down the street from him. Now, I certainly wasn’t planning on doing that. Obviously, a dastardly father put me in the position to do so. I opened up this current store right down the street from him, as I promised. All of this worked out well at the end of the day.

What followed in the years after was him copying product ideas and plagiarizing posts from this website to the point where a lawsuit was nearly filed. He was literally copying and pasting posts from this site and putting it on his pages. So, here I am spending quite a few bucks for a “cease and desist” and a great message to him on this website after. Fine with me.

Fast-forward to March of 2020 and Mr. Competitor has been on a one-person crusade to chase all of his customers out of his store by spewing bullshit conspiracy theories to them and putting up personal rhetoric in his store for everyone to see. You cannot make this up. It’s almost as if he made countless trips of loading up customers in his car and dropping them off in my parking lot. Thank you, kindly.

Then, the Summer of 2021 arrives. Many customers continue to flood from his store to ours due to the awful prices and products he has. Attached to those are the reports that Mr. Competitor had found a tag team partner to rebuild his super duper pooper store. Whoa! Now, I think to myself, “what does this new guy have to provide?” And as it turned out over time, he’s just as idiotic, if not more idiotic than Mr. Competitor. This store goes from one doofus who runs his mouth, has idiotic beliefs, high prices and crappy products to the business partner who runs his mouth, has idiotic beliefs, high prices and crappy products.

It’s almost the same guy. How could I not be thankful for this? They make it so easy for me. It’s amazing. And his website pages? Memes. Memes. Memes. How creative. This website? Creativity for the most part. And the other times when I do use someone else’s idea? Oh, what a surprise. I actually give credit. Look at the video library for credits. Maybe these guys should take the hint.

How could this be? How could Mr. Competitor be doing so poorly, that he had to sell half or all of his store just to save his butthole? Wasn’t he telling everyone all these years that he was the best ever? Actually, he was. He was making fake Google accounts and putting positive reviews for his store. Mixed in there are actual reviews from real people with real experiences. You can tell which ones are real and which ones aren’t for yourselves. It’s quite astonishing.

Now, Mr. Competitor is on his way out. Whether he returns to a land where people like him reside is yet to be determined. But what I do know now is that I did exactly what I was going to do years ago and that was to defend the title of best store in DeKalb County. For nearly 20 years, this store has been a fighting champion and not once, was that title at risk of losing.

So this Thanksgiving, I give thanks to you, Mr. Competitor. Thank you for your stupidity all these years. Thank you for chasing all of your customers out so they end up at my store. Thank you for giving me the luxury to appear on National Television in the front row several times a year in various cities to have a great time and promote my business. Thank you for giving my employees job security. Just, thank you. And to your new “business partner,” I don’t know your name. But welcome to my world. Thank you as well for being just like your predecessor by being rude to customers and thus, sending them my way. I love you just as much as Doofus. Enjoy that store.

Signed,

The Face That Owns The Place

Pod Juice | $16.99

As many of you have noticed, there are shortages in every aspect of life. Our business is no different. We have brought in new salt juice due to our other brands being tough to get in on a consistent basis.

Say hello to Pod Juice. We carry about 15 different flavors. For those former Juul users, we have similar flavors such as Mint and Mango in this brand.

With rising prices combating the economy, we’re doing everything we can to keep prices low. $16.99 remains the price for ALL salt juice that we carry and is guaranteed to be the lowest in DeKalb County.

Thanks to all who entered our October raffle!

We gave away over $200 in free products to customers. Our next raffle giveaway will be in December. Stay tuned to the website for details.

Who wants to save more money at our store? The Halloween Sale is here to help out.

Hey, kids. Did you all know that Mr. Competitor and his glorious “business partner” down the street think it’s Halloween every day of the year? Yes. They always dress up and spook customers with their asinine products and prices along with their beliefs that they are the best. But they always seem to forget to wear their Halloween masks with their costumes. Weirdos!

Here, we show up looking fantastic. And these deals we have? Words don’t say it all. We have to show it. And the Halloween Sale is the way we are going to do that. You have one week to save more cash than you usually do with us. Check out the video and ad in this post for all the details.

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Here is our updated Kratom lab report. (Tested September 30th)

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We will keep it simple here. We post these results every quarter due to our local competition selling garbage and ineffective Kratom. They also have yet to show their lab results after we’ve been calling them out for years to do so. Instead, they are busy posting memes on their websites and copying our product ideas (hence, why we watermarked this picture). These results, as it is every time, shows no metals, bacteria or synthetic materials.

So if you want Kratom that is thrown into a sandwich bag by a crackhead, go to our local competition. For the largest and best selection of Kratom in the state of Illinois from people who actually wash their hands after using the bathroom, come see us. Free shipping is available if you are out of the area with the exception of a few states.

We’re giving away a free pipe every Sunday in October!

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Hey, it’s been a while since we’ve had a raffle. Four years to be exact. But, here we are again. How about a pipe or dugout every week? It can be yours. The grand prize is a custom apple pipe made by our friends at Chameleon Glass in Phoenix. This retails at $99.99 and it can be yours. We have been an authorized dealer for Chameleon products for the last decade. The grand prize drawing will take place on Halloween.

The details are simple: Spend $10 on any pipe, dugout box or grinder. You get a ticket. Spend $30 and get two. $60 or more gets your three tickets. If you don’t win, your entry stays in for the next drawing.

Stop in to try to win today!

If you don’t know the answer to this Jeopardy! clue, then there is no hope for you.

O.P.M.S. Black | A More Pure Kratom Extract!

Available in both capsules and liquid shots, O.P.M.S. Black has been carried at our store the last few months. The feedback has been great. For those wanting to try something different than the original Gold line, this could be a great alternative. The prices are the same as the others. A five-pack is $33.99 and the liquid shot is $16.99. We are the only official retailer for O.P.M.S. products in DeKalb County.

The best selection of Kratom products throughout the state of Illinois is right here. Stop in and see us. Free shipping is available for those outside the area as well.